so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
