very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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