She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
