I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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