did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
