I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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