OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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