I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
