I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
