My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
