She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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