FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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