At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
it glows. i had to have it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
