Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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