she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
