so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's no shave November. This is our time.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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