Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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