all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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