I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
