I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
