the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My life is pants optional.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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