SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
