I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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