Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
