Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
