The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
