I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
how drunk are you?
Several
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
