Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You've changed since you got that strap on
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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