I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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