so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
