please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Randomize