'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
