i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
