I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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