just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
