Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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