I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
