somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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