38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
