sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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