Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
