did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
