I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
