so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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