the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
