Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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