Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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