he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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