My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize