I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize