If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
