pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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