When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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