do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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