We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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