dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize