STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
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