you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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